The Evil Overpopulator Strikes Again

I know it's been a long, long while since I've been visited by the blogging muse, but I'm going to go ahead and jump in today because I saw this and I want to applaud the sentiment. I don't really need to say a lot more because she says exactly what I think. I have heard that it is selfish to have more than three children, more than two children, more than one child, any children. For one thing, that makes me laugh--environmental impact aside--really? Selfish?! Somehow I doubt the people saying these things to me have ever tried to run a family and household full of children. Not trying to play the martyr here, but selfish is not the word that comes to mind.

In our family we try our best to be good stewards of the resources we are blessed with. In the interest of full disclosure, I fully admit that our carbon footprints aren't usually the number one aspect I take into consideration when making day-to-day decisions...usually it's the financial aspect. A blessing in disguise is that when you don't have a lot of financial resources, the environmental and financial aspects of decision making tend to intersect. I'm nearly positive that our one-vehicle, small house, strictly second-hand-shopping, gardening, ridiculously frugal "large" family of nearly six probably has a much smaller carbon footprint than your average American upper-middle-class family of four (population replacement level).

The best thing about being an environment-preserving parent of a "large" family, though, is that I can teach these things to my children. The way we live is something I try to pass on to them in order to have four future families being good stewards of the Earth.

Do I sound defensive? Maybe I am a bit, but I don't mean to be. It's not that I honestly don't care what other people do, because I do hope that others make good environmental decisions. But I say live and let live. While you'd never hear me chastising another for making a different choice, there are many who chastise overpopulation as the biggest drain on the world's resources, and that is what I'm trying to defend against.

Uninspired.

Honestly, I swore I'd never write about how I had nothing to write about. But here I am, entirely and utterly uninspired. Not really for lack of things to write about--I could talk about how really great homeschooling is going and how this year is shaping up to be the best one yet, I could talk about places I have been recently and how a trip on my own could have ended badly (it did) but how it didn't matter because of the love of two wonderful friends--hi Jackie and Annie! I could talk about my new camera, which I haven't used yet because I can't afford any lenses for it right now and probably won't for quite some time, or I could speculate about current events, or how and why the loss of the leader of an organization I am not even a member of has affected me so deeply. I could ruminate about planning for the holidays, the various organizational or schedu-al (which is a new word I've made up) systems I've been embarking on, the resurgence of my spiritual "groove", how Baby Girl J is doing, or about our disgusting 6-legged home invaders...

But I'm just so dang uninspired.

WARNING: Books Can Be Hazardous to Your Health

I have long believed that an addictive habit of reading can be toxic. Generally, though, this belief stems from allowing myself to be sucked in to a very good book. The more believable the characters are, the more exciting the plot, the more well-written the story...it all correlates to the amount of time I spend both reading the book and mulling the book over in my mind while not reading, and thus the less appealing everyday tasks seem in relation.

Which all translates into: My house gets really messy and the kids yell at me to put down the stinking book and make them some food. Can you believe these gall of these beasts, wanting to be fed every day or something?

Reading selection from last night

So anyhoo, that's not really what I want to warn you about this time. No, I'm here today to warn you of this simple fact: If you do not put the book down at night--if you decide to just finish off the last 400 or so pages of your 600- or so -page book--after turning the last page, you will look out your bedroom window and it will be light outside. Then you will sleep half the day away, thanking your lucky stars the other adult in the house is home that day. Which will probably lead to not being able to sleep again the next night, eventually giving up and deciding to blog about the sheer insanity of it all at 3:25 a.m.

Reading selection from tonight

Tomorrow night (or would that be tonight?) -- Tylenol PM.

An insomnia-inspired blast from the past can be found here.

The Story of Stuff

Long but worth it. It is required watching for me at least once a month. I forget easily.

Attention Viewers:

I am not a phone talker. I do not know when this happened, but I'm pretty sure it was somewhere in between the 3 a.m. long phone calls in college and having three children. Specifically trying to entertain, feed, clothe, educate, mediate, and hide in the bathroom from three children.

Somewhere along the line there I contracted a horrible, terrible, no-good, very-bad disease called Phone Phobia. I blame it on the aforementioned children; however, I admittedly have no fine-tuned research basis for this assertion. I love my phone because I can text to my heart's content and because of its uber-organizational skills. I'm not so fond of that button up there (see picture, top) in the shape of a handset.

That's really all I have to say. Informative, isn't it? Oh, the reason this all comes to mind is because I finally made myself return one phone call this morning that I have been putting off for days. A presumably good phone call which will presumably actually lead me in positive financial gains...a phone call which presumably will further some random career aspirations...

...the interested party was not home and I got to leave a message. Phew!

Now I can put my terrible, horrible, no-good, very-bad Phone Phobia off until interested party calls back.

I'm pathetic, really.

Because You Know I Just *Had* To

Say something, that is. Remember this post? Remember how I postulated that emotionalism is maybe not the best way to go about solving The Great American Rift?

Just look what happens when emotionalism rules the person. Now, I am hearing a lot of people say, so what? So what if he's gone; that just means he is no longer able to kill babies. That the man who has committed this "murder of a murderer" should now be a hero for advancing the prolife cause. Well, HELLO people, murder is not an act of life, it is an act of death. And not only does it not help people to see the atrocity of late-term elective abortions, it furthers the supposition that anyone associated with a word in which this killer associates himself has little regard for any person in a state of life beyond birth.

I cannot imagine the pain that Mr. Tiller's wife had to feel, seeing him lie dying on a church floor. This family has lost a husband, a father, a son. I sit and wonder about someone deeming my own life not worth living because of my "sins". No matter what his life entailed, his is still a life gone before its time. No one deserves an end like this, be it a 67-year-old abortionist, a 27-week-old-fetus, or even a worldwide terrorist. No one.

Er...duh..um...

And one more word to describe this:

Wow...

Good for him that there's no such thing as negative publicity, right?

How The Pro-Life Cause Could Be Helped

Uh-oh, there she goes proselytizing again! Feel free to skip this one if you just can't stand it, or me. Although if you can't stand me...why are you even reading my blog?

Anyhoo. So we were watching this documentary the other day about the politicizing of abortion. And there was this scene where this lady was protesting outside a clinic, talking in a super high-pitched voice, pretending to speak for the unborn children of the women walking into the clinic. "Hi Mommy, I can't wait to meet you. Mommy, what are you doing? Mommy, why are you doing this to me? Mommy, please, I want to see your face. Mommy, NOOOO!"


Ugh. My stomach just about dropped to my knees. It was so horrendous I wanted to puke. I wanted to be there and ask that lady, "Just what good do you think that's going to do?" Does she think that by trying to sound like the baby it will change anything for that woman? I don't think so. In fact, I think that that scene is why people have such low opinions of some "pro-lifers". (see footnote 1) I wanted to yell at the screen for her to stop making us look like uneducated, intolerant fanatics! It honestly drives me crazy.

So here's my idea on how to help the pro-life cause. People seriously need to try to remain unemotional about the whole thing. I know it's hard, when you take in the enormity and the magnanimous reality of the whole thing. I know. It's hard for me to not get emotional about it as well. But I really think that we would all be better served to just stay with the basic scientific facts and go from there. You can't dispute facts, and remaining unemotional will definitely lead to more civil discussion.

If that's the desired end, anyway. For me, I don't think the issue is going anywhere until civil discourse ends up changing people's hearts and minds. On the other hand, if imparting guilt is the only desired effect, then by all means lets all go protest in high-pitched squeaky voices.

1 - When speaking of a group of people, I'll always put "pro-lifers" and "pro-choicers" in quotes. Because I don't think that a lot of "pro-lifers" are actually pro-ALL-life, they're actually just anti-abortion. And by the same token I think that using the phrase "pro-choicers" just masks pro-abortion with a prettier phrase. Semantics are everything, people.

Resolved:

I don't usually do New Year's Resolutions. I think I stopped after the year I decided that my resolution would be to stop smoking. I don't smoke. I just figured that if I resolved to stop smoking, by the time the year was over I could honestly say that I had kept my resolution for an entire year! Well, the year ended and I kept my resolution, but the next year I had a hard time choosing another resolution that I knew I would keep. Stop cheating on my husband? No more picking my nose? Make sure to shoplift every other Saturday? Nothing sounded right, and frankly I think it might have felt a little weird to have to utter any of them as an answer when the inevitable question of NY's resolutions came up. So I stopped.

I think that was about five years ago, but I think I have finally decided that I'm okay with having an actual resolution for 2009.

Are you ready for it?

Here it is:

I, Kelly, resolve that I will try to keep my living room clean/cleared every night before bed and before leaving my house.

Yes, I added the words try to because I am not perfect and I admit it. Anyway, it seems like if I can do that, then it makes a big difference in my attitude and mood. I have finally finished getting this room all situated after the move-in/painting/Advent-Christmas tree removal/etc., so I would like to actually get to enjoy it now.

Do you have any resolutions for 2009?

Go visit The Lazy Organizer for more Talk About Tuesday!

An Epiphany of Reason and Humility

He has revealed Himself. He personally. And now the way to Him is open. The novelty of the Christian announcement does not consist in a thought, but in a fact: God has revealed Himself. Yet this is no blind fact, it is a fact that is, itself, Logos -- the presence of eternal reason in our flesh. Verbum caro factum est (John 1:14)... It is a rational fact. Naturally, the humility of reason is always needed in order to accept it. It takes man's humility to respond to God's humility.

-Benedict XVI

My Very Own Multiple Personality Disorder

I am laughing really hard over here tonight. No wonder I drive myself insane sometimes.

Ah, I just took another one of those timesucking political quizzes. I don't know, I just like to punish myself, I guess. Plus, I'm a nerd, and Her Nerdiness would like to share tonight's results:

You Scored as Green

The Green Party believes in an America where decisions are made by the people and not by a few giant corporations. Their environmental goal is a sustainable world where nature and human society co-exist in harmony.

Green

70%

Socially Conservative Republican

65%

Old School Democrat

65%

Pro Business Republican

55%

New Democrat

50%

Libertarian

45%

Foreign Policy Hawk

30%

Notice that my views don't exceed 70% in any of the categories--but what I find so funny is which two categories happen to be tied for #2. And on top of that, #1 is not so very far ahead of either of them. This could also explain why I could simultaneously support two seemingly opposed candidates in this last election. (The pertinent information in the above link is at the end of the farcical campaign blog post.)

As I said, no wonder I drive myself insane sometimes.


Just sign me,
Socially Conservative Old School Green Republican Democrat

Letting Go

Have you ever wondered why "a weight lifted off my shoulders" is worded the way it is? Okay, quite honestly I never really have wondered that, but in a recent a-ha! moment, I've found that the answer lies in letting go. Lifting off and letting go are synonymous, and the reason people speak of having a weight lifted is because letting go is such freedom!

Recently I've discovered that the only way we can grow is to let go. For me, I've really struggled with learning how to become an adult. Ironically, for all of my childhood I was so much more grown up than other children...only to find that when I did grow up, I felt like a child. The only way I can grow is to let go. Let go of unnecessary things. Of unnecessary feelings. Of unnecessary attitudes and ideas. I let one thing go, I grow up a little more.

Here is a little snippet of some things I've let go of, and how I've subsequently grown as a person:

Children's clothing choices. Is it worth huge tantrums just to have my children wear what I consider matching clothing? I'm not giving in to those tantrums, I just wonder does it really matter? Am I hung up on what they wear because of them...or because of how it reflects on me? Children need some choices, and I think I've come to the conclusion that, with the exception of dirty or inappropriate (weather or otherwise) outfits, they really should get full reign, since it appears to be so incredibly important to them. If people are going to think less of me because my 7-year-old fashionista expresses herself by wearing four shirts and a mismatched skirt to the grocery store, well, I guess I'll just deal with that myself.

That one's let go of, poof! Children are ecstatic, Mom has done a bit of growing up, and all are less stressed.

Having a lot of time to myself. Although I honestly never gave it a conscious thought, I guess I just must have unknowingly expected that when I was an adult and a wife and a mom I would have just as much time to do things for myself as I always had. But, on the contrary, I have internally fought myself for eight years to have "me" time whenever I want it. I'm not totally there yet, but I'm in the beginnings of realizing that although having "me" time is necessary and wonderful and all, it has no value unless I have given of myself first. I need to focus on my responsibilities and my family's needs, and then when I have time to myself it means so much more and is so much more enjoyable!

There's another one let go, poof! More necessary things get done, more fun ensues.

Spontaneity. (Not to be confused with flexibility, of course.) Being too spontaneous, not having a plan, not having direction is just bad bad bad. For me. If I let go of my leanings toward just being...whatever...then it forces me to be focused, be alert, be structured. And structure, really, is freedom in and of itself. Planning ahead takes more effort than I usually want to exert, but if I let go of that feeling and get down to brass tacks, I am free to do more.

And another one bites the dust, poof! No more chaos resulting from TMSS-- Too Much Spontaneity Syndrome.

The desire to have nice things. I never really expected to have nice things, but I still have my wants and desires and wishes for nice things. I have had to tell myself, Listen lady, if you want to continue with the lifestyle you have chosen, then it ain't gonna happen! This is more about weighing priorities and deciding what is worth more to me. Being home with my kids, homeschooling, having my husband only work one job, and following Dave are worth more to me than any nice house, cars, clothes, or just, things.

Problem solved and let go, poof! Knowing priorities and keeping them in mind are also quite freeing.

Packratism. Letting go of this was a HUGE step for me! Clutter destroys brain cells, I'm sure of it, but I never realized that saving everything as if there were another Great Depression headed our way (um...wait...that was before 2008...) was creating giant amounts of clutter and killing off my poor brain cells one by one, not to mention making me crazy and anxious and depressed all at once. I'm a convert now to the Church of Tossmas, and it feels sooo good!

And there goes the biggest one to let go of, poof! My home is now like the inner tube of an earthworm, in and out, in and out, in and out. Ew. Sorry.

See how grown up I can be?

Opening the Doors, Follow-Up

I intended to reply to a comment on this post, but my response got far too long for a comment, so here you go, out in the wide-open:


On a Department of Peace and Nonviolence~

First, yes, it is idealistic, as I admitted right from the start. I think that a department such as this might get lost and seem pretty insignificant under the shadow of such an extensive national military. And it's bureaucratic, yes. I do get that.

But it's better than the status quo. Sometimes symbolism is good, and just knowing our government is willing to make strides toward turning our image around from that of a schoolyard bully could change the way things get done around the entire world.

Once upon a time civil rights was a bunch of idealistic gobbledygook as well. And hey, Jesus was an idealist, so it works for me.


On the Freedom of Choice Act~

1. If a woman is intent on terminating a pregnancy after the age of viability (except in extreme cases yada, yada, yada), there is something wrong. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, but if someone has carried a baby around for five-to-nine months and finally decides to get rid of it instead of waiting a couple months and giving it up after birth, then there's something else going on in her head besides not wanting to be burdened with a child. This woman needs help, and getting rid of the "problem" is like putting a tiny little band-aid on a gaping wound.

FOCA will assure that a state's ability and right to make sure this doesn't happen is taken away.

2. FOCA will make access to abortion much quicker, much easier--allowing someone to make a HUGE snap decision they might later regret. I personally know of six women (girls, really) who have had abortions, all of whom regret it strongly, and for a couple of them it has affected their entire psychological balance. This is not some fly-by-night decision to be made.
Putting it out there as full disclosure, my personal position is that I don't think abortion should be legal as a "choice" whatsoever (again, except in extreme cases, yada, yada, yada). But if it is going to remain legal, for goodness sakes, at least let there be SOME hoops to jump through in order for a woman to make an informed and well thought-out decision.

3. Under this Act, our daughters are free to go to a clinic and have an abortion without so much as a single note from us. There can be no state restrictions put on this. The earliest pregnancy I've heard of in "real life" is at age nine. My daughter is seven. Theoretically, she could become pregnant and find a "trusted adult" to take her to have an abortion and I would never know about it. That's extreme, I realize, but a slippery slope is a dangerous thing. The fact that I would not want any daughter under my guardianship, be she nine or be she seventeen, to have an abortion aside--there are serious future health risks here! A child should not be making these health decisions without a parent.

And again, if a child feels the need to hide a pregnancy from her parents, there are bigger issues here that will never be solved with the termination of a pregnancy. That whole gaping wound thing and such.

4. This isn't really a future ramification, but rather an argument against the whole thing...you know, constitutionally, we really don't have a right to privacy anyway--the so-called "constitutional right" the Act is based on.

So there you go. I feel kind of weird getting this strong on my blog, but I'm nothing if not opinionated :-)

Opening The Doors of Government

Idealistic? Maybe. But it sure can't hurt to visit this website and let your voice be heard. Dennis Kucinich, whom I (mostly) greatly admire, is really pushing for a Department of Peace and Nonviolence. I think that's something we can all agree on, so visit this website and let Obama know that we want a U.S. Department of Peace.

Behind the whole thing is a movement of citizens inspired by the presidential campaign who are now submitting ideas for how they think the Obama Administration should change America. It's called "Ideas for Change in America."

Could you please quickly vote for the idea: Appoint Secretary of Peace in Department of Peace and Non-Violence. You can read and vote for the idea here.

Click on the left side where it says Ideas for Change in America - Vote Now!

The top 10 ideas are going to be presented to the Obama Administration on Inauguration Day, so each idea has a real chance at becoming policy. I, myself, have not only voted for the DoP, but have also decided to let my voice be heard that I think our new president should stop all this FOCA (freedom of choice act) baloney, which I know will get me nowhere...still, I had to try!

Oh, and about FOCA, by the way, it may sound like a good idea to some people, but there are future ramifications which could be very complicated and lead to further demoralization of women. You can read the whole bill at the Library of Congress website.

And that's all I have to say about that.

~Peace Out~

Guess Who?

Who? It's just me. The same old me I've been for 29.843 years.

So I have this biannual experience (late Fall and early Spring, to be precise) wherein I frequently contemplate the past. I don't intentionally bring on this metacognitive phenomenon, it just...happens. And I don't dwell; no! No dwelling allowed in this life! Maybe it happens at this time because of the horrid weather in November and March/April, I dunno. But it is the time when I think a lot about all the experiences that have made me who I am and about all the people who have helped shape me.

The internet helps contribute to my twice-yearly fascination with all things that have gone before--for example, I get a little smile on my face every time I find a long lost friend on Facebook (uh, Facecrack* addiction anyone?). But it gets me thinking...I wonder if we were to meet today, would we still be friends? People change. And change. And then change some more. It's hard for me even to keep up with my best friend she changes so much, much less people I haven't seen in 10-plus years.

But I don't change, you see. I am the same. I am boring! I am exactly the same little girl who refused to wear dresses, the same sixth-grader getting in trouble for sticking my nose in a book when I should be working, the same self-absorbed teenager needing affirmation from everyone around me, the very same young lady who consistently chose spiritual retreat over partying and signed up for Christian groups the first day on a college campus. I've never changed my politics, I've never changed my religion (except on accident once!), I've never even changed my baseball team (yeah, GO TWINS!!!).

Sometimes, every once in a great while, I wish I could be one of those people who can say I used to believe abc, but now I believe xyz. Just for some variety or some sort of time demarcation. Or maybe to shock my old friends. But then again, I am sort of glad I am the same girl who can rock out in the middle of a deserted dirt road to Mr. Jones--I certainly haven't lost that!

Thirteen years and three kids later, the girls I am dancing to Mr. Jones with have changed (a much younger variety), but I am still me...I am racing out of a car on a dirt road in spontaneous dance with my two best friends...I am twirling around my kitchen with my two daughters...I am 16...I am 29...past, present, and future, I am still me.

Freedom Is Not Free

Ha ha, gotcha, this is SO NOT a long diatribe about war. Ew.

I want to talk about how I am FREE now...gluten-free, that is. And how that comes with a price. A mean, nasty, high price. It has cost me my irreverent attachment to food. No more sitting and eating half an entire package of Oreos at night. No more popping in for a quick snack at the bread store. No more eating multiple plates of pasta. Stinking wheat! Grrr.

No more amber waves of grain for this chick.

I've been gluten-free for two weeks now. I had read that it should take at least three to six weeks to notice a difference, but I felt a thousand percent better by the second DAY. The one time I accidentally slipped up (because Hoisin sauce has wheat flour? Who knew?), there was a gosh darn lot of pain. And that's all you need to know about that; the details of this malady are not details which should be shared in polite company, which is what I consider my blog readers!

Of course, it has led to a lot of soul-searching on my part. I have had to give up my unrealistic feelings toward food, but I have had to find out why I had them in the first place. Avoidance of life issues possibly? Self medication, anyone? Boredom? Or just plain addiction to carbohydrates? D, all of the above?

So I have had to refocus my attention. It's not like I had all my attention focused on food, but I think I used the food to put off what I should have had my focus on. I need to put time with my family and time with my God absolutely first. And I need to make time for myself, but time which does not always include pampering with food (because there's very little I like that is gluten-free anyway, thank goodness). This is not even the reason I needed to change my eating habits, of course; it's an after effect. I wonder if other undiagnosed celiacs have these same "issues". I have been in a fog, and now I see that there are other things to get excited about instead of "treats". Who knew?

In the end, I guess it's a price which I am willing to pay.

An Introduction

"Hi guys, I've been meaning to introduce you two but haven't gotten around to it until now. I think you both have more in common than you would think."

"Pro-lifer, meet Pro-choicer. Pro-choicer, this is pro-lifer."

"I think you've both heard a lot about each other, but a lot of it is just rumors, misinformation, and misunderstanding. I hope to clear up a lot of that and have you two getting along in no time. I chose you two to do an introduction because you're pretty much each an 'average' person on your respective 'side'."

"What's that, Pro-choicer? Hmmm, no, I don't think that's right. That's probably one of the misunderstandings you've heard that I spoke of earlier. No, Pro-lifer really does care about women and the challenges they face. That's why Pro-lifer works with women in crisis pregnancies, directing them to good resources for adoption and helping to provide other resources for keeping a baby she wasn't planning on and raising it with good help, if that is the route she chooses to take."

"Pro-lifer also cares about the unplanned babies. Pro-lifer doesn't want to see a little life snuffed out because of misinformation. Generally, Pro-lifer doesn't want to see a mature life snuffed out before it's time, either. Pro-lifer is loathe to international conflicts and the death penalty, as well. Most of the time, when Pro-lifer says they are 'pro-life', they mean 'pro-all-life', from conception to natural death."

"Well, Pro-lifer, don't look too smug. Pro-choicer really cares about women as well. Pro-choicer hurts to see women in crisis and believes they deserve better than the treatment they get in the status quo."

"Nope, that's a rumor as well. At least for Pro-choicer it is. There may be others who think that abortion is a great thing and should be praised, but not Pro-choicer, who is an average voice for their side. No, Pro-choicer actually thinks that abortion is an evil. A necessary evil, but not a great thing. Pro-choicer believes that for some women, it may be their only choice."

"Well, Pro-lifer, you're right, abortion isn't a woman's only choice, but try to be sympathetic, here. Some women have been taught that it is their only choice, or at least the only choice that is safe for them in their situation. Pro-choicer really doesn't want to see women in some of the horrible situations they face."

"Yes guys, I know. You both think you have the solution. Maybe one of you does. Maybe you both do. But how about instead of trying to talk over and around each other, you just stop a minute and listen to me."

"Okay, good, thank you. Now that I have you quiet for a moment, why don't you each take turns voicing your concerns to each other in a civilized manner."

"That's great, guys! I'm glad to see you're getting somewhere and getting to know each other. I knew you'd get along if you just got a chance to meet."

Question for You Re: Motivation

Dearest of dear blog readers,

I have a question for y'all regarding motivation. Or regarding unmotivation. (It's a word if I say it is, so there.) What do you do when you hit that big funk where you can't get motivated to do a thing? Do you laze around waiting for the feeling to pass? Does your body have some sort of internal 'click' that eventually gets you going? Do you have a secret weapon or routine that helps you bounce back?

If you never have motivational issues and believe that funk is just a name for a bad smell, um, frankly I don't want to hear from you! Nothing personal, it's just our realities are so completely opposed, I might believe you were posting in Klingon anyway.

I joke around about 'all three of you' blog readers, but the fact is I know there are many, many of you and I want you to respond out of the goodness of your heart so that one or more of you may inspire this weary traveler.

Sincerely,

Me

syn·aes·the·sia

A condition in which one type of stimulation evokes the sensation of another, as when the hearing of a sound produces the visualization of a color.

Well, folks, this is what happens to you when you average about 3-4 (interrupted) hours of sleep per night for a week and then descend even further and find yourself with only 4 hours of sleep in 48 hours by the end of it. Let's look at a few reasons why that could be, shall we?

• You may be unable to sleep because you dictate blog posts to yourself at night, posts which you know you will never remember in the morning but are oh so important to phrase just right in your head in the dead of the night...night after night after night.

• You may be unable to sleep because you are trying to buy your first house and 3 a.m. is obviously the perfect time to draw diagrams in your head and compare nonexistent paint colors.

• You may be morphing into an insomniac because your obsessive-compulsive-pessimistic-skeptical-nihilistic self just knows something is going to go wrong with the aforementioned home buying endeavor. But what? At which stage? Who will give you the bad news? Can you really trust the people you are working with?

• You just may be ready to give up on sleep anyway because even the nights you did get 4 or so hours, you were up twice with the baby.

• You may think that after it dawns on you (following a huge spat with your hubby on a four-hour car ride) that you have only had 4 hours of sleep in the last 48, you better leave your party early and sleep the whole car ride back because that would be a good way to begin your catch up sleep.

• But you may be at a family reunion that day and your long-lost relatives from the other side of the country just may show up unexpectedly to surprise everyone, and you may be having such a great time talking with your 20-year-old cousin with a lip ring and a huge tattoo who thinks that people in your part of the country have never seen such things and of course everyone must be staring at him, that you may forfeit an early departure in exchange for amusing conversation.

• And probably after you end up finally dragging your family in your vehicle at 11 p.m. to begin the long journey home, your body just might decide that it is not be able to sleep on the road at that time.

• So your husband may decide to play Neil Diamond in the van and very slowly the lyrics to Cracklin' Rosie may start to take the shape of a boot.

• Guitar riffs turn into millions and millions of bursting triangles.

• Kentucky Woman becomes a graph of rainbow-colored hearts.

• You might think at first that Song Sung Blue is perfect for dancing amoebas, but you will probably quickly realize that they are NOT dancing amoebas but are, in fact, exploding pointy nerve cells.

• After you explain this all in gruesome detail, the next morning your husband might get all the children ready for church by himself, find a kind lady to watch them in church while he performs his Eucharistic Minister duties, and let you sleep until 1 in the afternoon.

• And then he might make you lasagne.

• In the shape of a rectangle.
  

The Stressless Wonder

Would be me. I know, I know, me, no stress? I'd just like to take this moment to publicly announce that I got through a weekend of company and a whole child's birthday party* yesterday without stressing myself out. So cool.

This comes on the heels of making a conscious decision that this one time, for this one event (the boy's first birthday party), I would try to catch myself and not worry about a thing. An experiment of sorts. Here's the rundown:

Guests showing up earlier than I had planned the day before -- "I will not stress."

Needing to still do a lot of shopping the same day -- "I will not stress."

Hubby works all afternoon/evening leaving me to care for the kids, party preparations, and guests by myself -- "I will not stress."

Staying up baking and decorating cakes 'til the wee hours -- "I will not stress."

Leaving the baking/decorating giant mess to go on for the whole day -- "I will not stress."

Letting all creation into my home in the state of aforementioned mess -- "I will not stress."

Forgetting to put up most of the decorations -- "I will not stress."

Forgetting the candle for the birthday boy's (one and only first birthday) cupcake -- "I will not stress."

Having to clean everything up the next day -- "I will not stress."


And I didn't. And the oddest thing happened. Everything that would have been left undone in my usual stressed-out state was still left undone, and everything that would have been accomplished in my usual stressed-out state was still accomplished. And I tell you, I enjoyed myself immensely more than I usually do. But the kicker is that I feel so further ahead of the game today than I think I would usually feel.

This cognitive and behavioral therapy experiment just might have worked.


*Pictures forthcoming.