Project 365: Day 46

Juliet Escapade 3

Wow, I can't believe I made it all the way in here!

Hmmm, what's this thing...

Oh......hi, mom...

Oooooh, fuuuunnnn...!

Project 365: Day 45

Juliet Escapade 2:  Here I am just enjoying a lovely mid-day snack of alien lego men.

Short blurb for posterity

Hannah wanted to go play outside, but she wanted to go further than I usually let her. Here's the convo that ensued:

Me: You must stay around our yard, nowhere else, got it?

H: in exasperation MOM. I have my bike and I've got my ninja skills. I'll be FINE.

Situational Irony

You should have seen the look on his face. I somehow knew it was her just from that look. He had an excruciatingly difficult time being civil, and after nearly four years he remembered every detail of her face and stooped-over walk. In the end, he did hold his tongue until she was out the driveway. How could we have predicted that she would show up at our door after all this time wanting a Freecycle item from our home?

Now we would get to experience more little verbal nuggets from our special church friend. Hooray! Highlights from this afternoon's occurrence:

"Now how do I know you? Why do you look familiar to me..."

Conrad: "Church."

"Mmm, oh yes, that's it."

"Well don't just stand there like an idiot, move!"

"What a little pretty baby! You're still holding her?"

Me: Explains the enigma that is Miss Juliet--she just cries all day long when set down.

"Well, that's a BAD BABY! You are SPOILING her! Tsk, tsk."

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On a different note, I am laughing at my former parent-of-two-children self from 2006. I use the cry room all the ding-dang time. And everyone else at church has learned to come to expect all sorts of distractions from our family by now. If she thought that was bad, she should see us these days.

I Need to Learn to Enunciate

Disclaimer: My apologies, but this post runs on the risque side. Don't say I didn't warn you...

The Scene: A regular old Burger King. I am once again very brave for taking all four kids out to run errands for the day and have rewarded us with a lunch at BK. Say what you will about the healthiness or lack thereof, it is a reward to me! The following is the dialogue which took place between me and a daughter. Bet you can't guess which one.

Me: Takes a swig of my Dr. Pepper.

Daughter: Mom, can I have a drink of your Doctor's Pecker?

Me: Chokes on my Doctor's Pecker, spitting it out onto the table, causing the rest of the restaurant to stare in a concerned fashion.

And the rest of the conversation just isn't as exciting, so I'll stop right there.

I'm sorry, but you can't say I didn't warn you.

College Life

So, we have a friend who's going back to college in a week or so. This information is what sparked the following conversation, and as such, I dedicate this entire post to Michelle (although something tells me you may not find as many crazy antics at this age...)

Daughter: What was it like to be in college?

Me: Let's see. Well, when your dad and I were in college, we used to run around late and night with a group of friends and play on all the neighborhood playgrounds. Then I would stay up and walk around downtown smoking a cigar with April at 3 a.m. And sometimes we would decide to take off in the middle of the night and do a joyride up to Canada. Or pile a bunch of people in the back of a pickup truck in winter and ride off into the country and then lay on a dirt road and watch the sky. Other nights 30 or 40 people would gather in one little dorm room and read the Bible and pray.

But not everything took place at night, oh no. Mommy and a group of girls decided one day to go steal Daddy's underwear and write his name and phone number on it in black permanent marker and then hang it on a light pole outside his dorm. That was fun. Until Daddy chased Mommy down and wrote all over her face with that same marker... Daddy also used to like to push Mommy into snowbanks and underwater. Some day I'll forgive him for all of that.

Daddy and Jarid liked to make up songs and sing them for the whole school while taking off their shirts. And they liked to put up posters of themselves all over campus telling people to vote for them too. Some crazy people called Dancin' Freaks would run around everywhere blasting music and dancing outside.

And there was Tubthumping



And Barbie Girl



And All Stars!



Some people liked to drink beer and party and do all kinds of crazy things in college. We were crazy enough without all that anyway. Then Mommy and Daddy got married and you were born just a few weeks after Mommy graduated. That was college. The end.

Daughter: Ummmmmm, okaaaaayyyyyy? But didn't you do any school in college?

Me: Whoops.

The Awful Realization

The attitude I may or may not have consistently shown to my husband regarding his geekery in all things...well, geek-ish (think comic books, RPGs, action figures, fascination with archaic languages not to mention archaic British science fiction television shows)...may or may not have thus far bordered on pure scorn.

That has now changed, in light of my awful realization this morning. Here's how it went down:

Me, driving: laughs

Him: What?

M: Oh, I was thinking about how I am so looking forward to seeing two Juliets this winter!

H: Two? Who's the second?

M: Your unborn daughter, duh!

H: Uh, then who's the first?

M: You know? The one that comes 39 days before our Juliet? What I've been waiting for since May 22, 2009????

H: Uggggggggggggggg. Groan. You've GOT to be kidding me.

M: That's why I was laughing in the first place; I knew what your reaction would be!

H: Anyway, isn't she dead? *see footnote*

M: Well, you see, that's where the time paradox comes in because if the bomb was never detonated, then none of that would have happened, ergo, she's alive! In one scenario anyway. They're at least going to show some of what would have happened had the plane never crashed because all these original characters are coming back and I've even seen the set photos of Claire being pregnant and Boone being there, and... Herein continues a long convoluted diatribe, the likes of which I will spare you--you're welcome--but suffice it to say I was pretty much the only one talking the whole six-mile drive.

And that's when my awful realization came upon me.

I am just as big a geek as he is.

Okay, maybe more.



*I realize some of my faithful readers have not yet finished Season 5. I left these spoilers in white, for those who wish not to find out what happens in the very last scene of that season. For those who would like to read it, simply highlight the text.

For those who have no idea which Season 5 I speak of, much less who is this Juliet #1 who is showing up approximately 39 days before our own...go ahead and highlight the text. You'll still be as confused as ever.*

Uncharted Territory

So Middle Child was helping me make the bed yesterday morning. Oldest Child, feeling the need to put little sister in her place, was taunting her with math problems. The following is recreation is how it all went down:

H: You don't know what 1+1 equals.

E: I do too.

H: You don't know that it equals 2. I learned that in first grade and you don't even know that yet. Ha!

E: Slams the door in Oldest Child's face.

Then commences the putting on of pillows on my bed.

E: Only in Hannah-Hannah-La-La Land that equals 2!

Rolls eyes.

WARNING: Books Can Be Hazardous to Your Health

I have long believed that an addictive habit of reading can be toxic. Generally, though, this belief stems from allowing myself to be sucked in to a very good book. The more believable the characters are, the more exciting the plot, the more well-written the story...it all correlates to the amount of time I spend both reading the book and mulling the book over in my mind while not reading, and thus the less appealing everyday tasks seem in relation.

Which all translates into: My house gets really messy and the kids yell at me to put down the stinking book and make them some food. Can you believe these gall of these beasts, wanting to be fed every day or something?

Reading selection from last night

So anyhoo, that's not really what I want to warn you about this time. No, I'm here today to warn you of this simple fact: If you do not put the book down at night--if you decide to just finish off the last 400 or so pages of your 600- or so -page book--after turning the last page, you will look out your bedroom window and it will be light outside. Then you will sleep half the day away, thanking your lucky stars the other adult in the house is home that day. Which will probably lead to not being able to sleep again the next night, eventually giving up and deciding to blog about the sheer insanity of it all at 3:25 a.m.

Reading selection from tonight

Tomorrow night (or would that be tonight?) -- Tylenol PM.

An insomnia-inspired blast from the past can be found here.

Random, Just Totally Random

We Didn't Start The Fire came out when I was ten years old. Two of the many lyrics I could never figure out were anther catcher in their eyes and choppin' up the little minds. Three points for whoever knows which lyrics I'm talking about.

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OJ and Sprite together is very, very good.

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I now know what it feels like to have H1N1 while pregnant.

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Baby is okay, alive and kicking. I have had two ultrasounds so far, which I would like to share, but I cannot find them. This misplacing disorder I have is getting worse.

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There are only 167 days left until LOST comes back! I think I'm going to install a countdown timer on my blog. Because yes, I am just that much of a geek.

Straight From the School of Hard Knocks

Me: Girls, you need to go downstairs and start picking up your room.

Girls: Nooooooooooo! Whine whine whine. Complain complain complain. Ad infinitum, ad nauseum....blah blah blah...you get the picture...

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Seven hundred and fifty hours later, they are finally downstairs doing what they are supposed to.

Except.

I hear singing.

It makes me happy that they have decided to put such a positive spin on a dreaded task.

Except.

As I wander further down the stairs, I realize just exactly what it is they are singing.

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Girls: It's a hard knock life. For us. It's a hard knock life. For us. No one cares for you a smidge. When you're in an orphanage.

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Laugh all you want, but this --coupled with the eight thousand and thirty times I have heard Yes, Miss Hannigan in response to my requests lately-- just tells me that a certain DVD staring a certain curly redhead needs to get back to the library ASAP.

Our Little Accessory

Lord save him from being the younger brother of two older sisters, Amen.

Today he came up to me with teal nail polish on all five left fingernails.

Yesterday they thought it would be funny to put a (large) doll's dress on him and a bonnet.

The day before that someone decided he needed to learn about high heels and purses.

Now, I'm all for letting my son show his feminine side--goodness knows the perpetrators show their "masculine" sides often enough--but this poor boy has no clue. Hey, if he grows up and wants to partake in all this silly girlishness (of which I, thankfully, escaped in my own childhood) well more power to 'im. But you gotta feel a little bad for the dude, being paraded around in the fashion akin to a small accessory dog.

He's just so darn cute. I know they can't resist.

Max Attack

Poor, poor Chanel. She never saw it (him) coming. Pity.

Emme vs. the Van, Episode Deux

Here we bring you the next installment in the continuing saga of Getting Emme to Get in the Vehicle and Buckle her Seatbelt:


M: Get in and buckle up because we are LATE.

M: Buckle up because we are LATE!

M: Buckle up!!!!!!!!!!!

E: Staring confusedly, as if I am speaking a foreign language.


Crickets can be heard chirping.


Even though it's March 31.


M: Buckle up! Do you want me to throttle you, girl?

E: Sigh. I don't even know what that word means, but I say no.

Photo Scavenger Hunt

Courtesy of Happiness Is...

The second picture from the third folder of 2006. Good thing you picked 2006 because that's only how far my digital pictures go back!

We are hippies for a Halloween party.
No, not that kind of party--I'm just pretending!

10 Reasons Why: Cabin Fever Edition

10 Reasons Why I Can't Wait For Winter To Be Over


1. If the heat goes out in your vehicle it doesn't matter (A/C is a discussion for another day).

2. No more stepping, sock-footed, in puddles of dirty melted snow in the kitchen from wayward children's boots and a husband who does not feel the need to take off his shoes immediately after entry into the base habitat.

3. Sweaters, long pants, socks, coats, mittens, scarves, hats, boots, snowpants, etc.,...times five...multiplied by however many times a day. Can we say exhaustion?

4. The basement family room might actually become enjoyable to the whole family.

5. Some person(s), who shall remain nameless, might just finally start his/her/their decade of thirtysomethings and be able to say goodbye to the Turbulent Twenties!

6. Being able to exercise merely by living everyday life instead of carving out a time slot to go downstairs (not enjoyable, see number 4) and do contortive bodily expressions in front of a 20-inch glass screen.

7. Building a fence!

8. Trying out the new deck!

9. Trying out the new backyard! (are we sensing a theme here?)

10. SENDING THE CHILDREN OUTSIDE TO PLAY.

Ah, priceless.

If Only You Could Bottle This Energy...

Originally posted at Home Schoolin' Mamas.
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Homeschool Physical Education:




And the fact that he had been dressed by his sister--who shall remain nameless--in a pink High School Musical nightgown just makes it all the more hilarious. That, and my inanely dorky snorting laugh in the background...

My Very Own Multiple Personality Disorder

I am laughing really hard over here tonight. No wonder I drive myself insane sometimes.

Ah, I just took another one of those timesucking political quizzes. I don't know, I just like to punish myself, I guess. Plus, I'm a nerd, and Her Nerdiness would like to share tonight's results:

You Scored as Green

The Green Party believes in an America where decisions are made by the people and not by a few giant corporations. Their environmental goal is a sustainable world where nature and human society co-exist in harmony.

Green

70%

Socially Conservative Republican

65%

Old School Democrat

65%

Pro Business Republican

55%

New Democrat

50%

Libertarian

45%

Foreign Policy Hawk

30%

Notice that my views don't exceed 70% in any of the categories--but what I find so funny is which two categories happen to be tied for #2. And on top of that, #1 is not so very far ahead of either of them. This could also explain why I could simultaneously support two seemingly opposed candidates in this last election. (The pertinent information in the above link is at the end of the farcical campaign blog post.)

As I said, no wonder I drive myself insane sometimes.


Just sign me,
Socially Conservative Old School Green Republican Democrat

Dialogue: Mom and Em

M: Get in and buckle up because we are LATE.

E: I can't get in my booster seat.

M: Yes you can.

E: No I can't, my shoes are on it!

M: Then move your shoes. Come on, honey, use your brain.

E: But then I will waste all my thinking!

How You Can Tell He's a Reader For Life

Max loves books.

Before naptime and bedtime I read him a story.

He insists, without fail, on taking each book to bed with him.

If you were to look in on him during sleep,

This is how you would find him.

Cuddled up in his car bed,

Nose resting ever so slightly on the cover,

Fist still gripped securely around the binding.

Yeah, Max loves books.