Guess Who?

Who? It's just me. The same old me I've been for 29.843 years.

So I have this biannual experience (late Fall and early Spring, to be precise) wherein I frequently contemplate the past. I don't intentionally bring on this metacognitive phenomenon, it just...happens. And I don't dwell; no! No dwelling allowed in this life! Maybe it happens at this time because of the horrid weather in November and March/April, I dunno. But it is the time when I think a lot about all the experiences that have made me who I am and about all the people who have helped shape me.

The internet helps contribute to my twice-yearly fascination with all things that have gone before--for example, I get a little smile on my face every time I find a long lost friend on Facebook (uh, Facecrack* addiction anyone?). But it gets me thinking...I wonder if we were to meet today, would we still be friends? People change. And change. And then change some more. It's hard for me even to keep up with my best friend she changes so much, much less people I haven't seen in 10-plus years.

But I don't change, you see. I am the same. I am boring! I am exactly the same little girl who refused to wear dresses, the same sixth-grader getting in trouble for sticking my nose in a book when I should be working, the same self-absorbed teenager needing affirmation from everyone around me, the very same young lady who consistently chose spiritual retreat over partying and signed up for Christian groups the first day on a college campus. I've never changed my politics, I've never changed my religion (except on accident once!), I've never even changed my baseball team (yeah, GO TWINS!!!).

Sometimes, every once in a great while, I wish I could be one of those people who can say I used to believe abc, but now I believe xyz. Just for some variety or some sort of time demarcation. Or maybe to shock my old friends. But then again, I am sort of glad I am the same girl who can rock out in the middle of a deserted dirt road to Mr. Jones--I certainly haven't lost that!

Thirteen years and three kids later, the girls I am dancing to Mr. Jones with have changed (a much younger variety), but I am still me...I am racing out of a car on a dirt road in spontaneous dance with my two best friends...I am twirling around my kitchen with my two daughters...I am 16...I am 29...past, present, and future, I am still me.