There's a SIM Card in That Thar Crockpot!

Or: What the Heck Do You Do All Day?

The other day I was thinking of grabbing a notebook and reporting everything that went on in my day.  For no reason except for my own pondering.  Somehow that turned into a goal to record it all in a blog post when I heard someone mention something about "lazy SAHMs".  That's stay-at-home-moms.  Though, personally, I much prefer Household Manager and Domestic Entrepreneur.  And yes, that would be said tongue-in-cheek.

So I recorded nearly every moment of my day, but not the complete saga.  I mean, I think I forgot to say that we ate breakfast, or that I tweezed my eyebrows, or searched for missing paperwork, etc.  And I may or may not have popped back on the computer a few more times that what I've listed.  Whatever.  The following is extremely boring, but it could be worse.  You could have had a play-by-play of me shaving my legs.

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6:30 a.m. :  Wake up and see that the kids are already watching cartoons on Netflix while their dad makes himself breakfast.  Great.  Why do we not own a TV again? 

6:45 a.m. :  Go for run.  Fall twice before I get smart and trade off between running on the street and the boulevards.  Decide I REALLY don't like the Week 2.1 c25k download here.  Too many drug and violence references for my delicate sensibilities.  A little bit is okay.  But this is over my personal limit.  Disappointed because I really liked the Week 1.2 playlist.  Possibly will have to find another one.

7:15 a.m. :  Come home, shower, quick computer break.  Emme comes out and tells me she has changed Juliet's (cloth) diaper all by herself.  She is very proud.  I am very proud. 

7:20 a.m. :  A few minutes later JJ crawls over to me, I pick her up, notice that her butt is decidedly UN-fluffy for a cloth-diapered girl.  And that would be because her sister did change her diaper, yes.  However.  She forgot to put an actual diaper inside the new diaper cover.  Thankfully, a disaster of epic proportions was averted by my quick prefold-stuffing skills.  Skills.  Yeah, I've got 'em.  I'm cool like that.

7:45 a.m. :  That was exhausting.  So I take another quick computer break.  An online forum is discussing Feminism (hello NFP friends!) and before I know it my research spark is lit and I spend a little too much time digging into the subject.  Whoops.  Mental note to curb computer time for the rest of the day.

9:00 a.m.:  I make my bed, tidy the bathroom, get the kids ready and going on their chores, do my hair and in the process of all that, I notice that even my eyebrow hairs are turning white.  Wonderful!

10:15 a.m.:  Get the brilliant idea to precook a bunch of chicken breasts and ground turkey/beef and prechop a bunch of onions.  Am having a difficult time staying on top of meals lately, so thinking that doing this and throwing the stuff in the freezer will be helpful to me at approximately 5 p.m. every day this week.  Wonder why I never thought of that before?  (Hm, could it be because I always get these 'brilliant ideas' but never follow through longer than a couple weeks?)  So I start preparing all this food while lunch is cooking.  Decide that I am hopeful that I can convince myself to do this more often.   Decide to expect that I won't.

11:00 a.m. :  Listen to Hannah unfurl to me her Great Book Club plan.  I agree that this is a great plan, and yesterday we went to the library to pick up her book club kit for The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe.  Which she has read.  Multiple times.  And has been read to her.  Multiple times.  Why she picked that one is anyone's guess, but who am I to question her self-directed educational prowess?

11:30 a.m. :  We are all straightening up while dancing to some Kung Fu Fighting.  The dancing turns into actual Kung Fu fighting by everyone except me, so I shut off the music for the time being.

11:35 a.m. :  The library calls to tell me that we actually only have half the book club kit.  Sweet librarian emails me the discussion questions instead of having to go back and get them.  Which I wouldn't be able to do anyway because I had neglected to petition the use of our lone vehicle for the day. 

11:55 a.m. :  I realize that aforementioned book club is scheduled to meet at 2 p.m. today.  Except that I haven't spoken to any of the parents.  I decide to call and make sure they know that our daughters are planning to meet at our house today.  They knew.  It's all good.

12:00 p.m. :  Try to read a math book to Max that he has been begging me to read to him all morning.  I see that there is a page torn.  He tells me it's "Ju-ju's" fault.  I'm skeptical.  Read the math book to him anyway.  He is already correctly formulating mathematical sentences.  I will try to focus on this good thing a little while later.

12:15 p.m. :  Go down to do laundry.  Come upstairs and see that Max is clearing off the table all by himself.  Give him lots of love and praise.  Pat myself on the back for training such a helpful little three-year-old.  Will also try to focus on this good thing a little while later.

12:30 p.m. :  Check on my chicken in the crockpot.  See something blue floating in it.  Ew!  Dig out floating blue thing: an old (but still wanted) SIM card that had been lying on the table 20 minutes previous.  Now here is where I try to focus on those better sides of Max.  Except it doesn't work.  I yell.  A little.

12:55 p.m. :  I've been listening to the same playlist over and over today.  I put Juliet down for a nap while Train is playing.  She kicks in time to Hey Soul Sister while nursing.  Happy that I am finding her to be not only a fellow multitasker but also that she takes after me in the rhythm department (thank goodness!).  But I decide that we have heard this playlist a few too many times today.

1:05 p.m. :  Go down for another load of laundry.  Find Emme reading her cat books.  That kid has checked out every single book on cats/cat care/veterinarians/large cats/domestic cats/ASPCA guides/whathaveyou contained in our library.  Entertain a fleeting worry that I have no idea what we will do next week when there are literally no more cat books for her to read.  I guess she'll just start reading them all over again.

1:20 p.m. :  Trip up the stairs carrying clean laundry.  Realize that I have yet again neglected to vacuum the stairs.  I am always forgetting to do that.  Throw the laundry on my bed.  Try to tell myself I will get it put away before bed tonight, all the while realizing that laundry in the proper places is merely a pipe dream.

1:30 p.m. :  It is nearing time for the book club meeting and the kids are getting squirrely with excitement.  I think that I need to create a calming playlist for times like these.  I'll probably get to that eventually, but for the time being it is easier to let them watch a show while they wait.  To make myself feel better, I say that it has to be an educational documentary.

1:40 p.m. :  After ten minutes of listening to squabbling over Pets and Their Vets (Emme) vs. Secrets of King Tut (Hannah) vs. Go Diego Go! (we told him it was not an option, but he's persistent) I kick them all downstairs to their rooms.  Not literally.  Figuratively.

1:45 p.m. :  Found some old hoagie buns in the freezer from back when we ate nonwhole-grain breads.  Don't want to waste anything, so I chop it up into crouton sizes. 

2:04 p.m. :  It is book club time but no one is here yet.  I look around and see that the kitchen sink and one counter are piled with dishes, which looks kinda scuzzy.  But I also see that most things are picked up, the garbage is all out, and I have vacuumed and swept the floors, so I call it good and hope none of the guests notice.  Or if they do, hope they don't care.  Make the informed decision to hop on the computer for one more little break instead of doing the dishes.

2:15 p.m. :  Only Michelle came, and she doesn't care if my dishes are done.  Plus she knows that I'm not the dish-doer in the house, Conrad is.  Have a nice little chat while the older kids discuss their book club plans and the younger ones find creative ways to bug them.

3:45 p.m. :  Play Guess Who with Max.

4:00 p.m. :  Play checkers with Hannah.

4:30 p.m. :  Play Jenga with everyone.  This is quickly abandoned, in a way, for a Jenga block-and-domino train.  Man.  We worked so hard to get that all set up (it fell, many many times), only to have it complete the entire show within seconds.  Oh well.  Obviously we just need more dominoes!   The following video is sideways.  I can't get it to straighten!  Also, by this point in the day the floors are no longer swept nor vacuumed, but I swear I did it just three hours ago. 

The video is not working.  I'll have to try for it tomorrow :-(

5:30 p.m. :  In the intense game-playing mode I was in for so long, I forget about supper.  Quickly throw together a cranberry/balsamic salad.

5:45 p.m. :  We eat dinner.  Correction:  Conrad and I eat dinner.  The rest of them pick at everything and whine.  Juliet happily eats her baby food but demands three jars of the stuff.

6:30 p.m. :  I put JJ to bed and head off to run errands.  Leave the husband, who is watching a tiger documentary with the older three, with strict instructions on when to put the rest of them to bed.

6:45 p.m. :  ATM machine #1 is out of order.  

6:55 p.m. :  Drive to next ATM machine.  #2 is in working order, thank you very much.

7:00 p.m. :  Hy-Vee for staples we absolutely cannot live without for the next day.

7:25 p.m. :  Back to the library for the second time in two days to get research materials for hubby.  Drive all the way across town for this, only to (stupidly) remember that it is Friday and the library is closed.

7:45 p.m. :  Drive all the way back across town to Target to return a black slipcover I absolutely adored and wanted with all my heart but realized very quickly, post-purchase, could not actually afford.  Picked up a new memory card reader and printer ink in its stead.

8:30 p.m. :  Come home and Conrad is asleep on the couch.  The rest of them are watching Hello Kitty on Netflix.  It is past all of their bedtimes.  Grrr.

8:45 p.m. :  Am uber-exhausted.  Think about going to bed early, but get back on the computer.  See, this is becoming a problem I think.  I'm like a moth to a computer flame.  I let the kids fall asleep on living room floor.  Eh, it's Friday.

9:20 p.m. :  I remember this blog post and make an executive decision that it must, absolutely MUST, be posted today.  Because otherwise how would anyone know what I did today?  My readers wait with baited breath.

10:00 p.m. :  Realize that I forgot to put away groceries.  Quickly do just that, and feel relieved that they weren't left out too long.

10:15 p.m. :  But I find that the crockpotted chicken breasts (the ones cooked with the yummy SIM card) were left in the crockpot.  Which had been turned off.  Four hours previous.  Recall which road is paved with good intentions...  Then mutter to myself that I might as well just have let the SIM card cook with the rest of it.

10:57 p.m. :  I. AM. GOING. TO. BED.  Stieg Larsson is waiting for me, though I'll most likely fall asleep on him before finishing three pages.