Letting Go

Have you ever wondered why "a weight lifted off my shoulders" is worded the way it is? Okay, quite honestly I never really have wondered that, but in a recent a-ha! moment, I've found that the answer lies in letting go. Lifting off and letting go are synonymous, and the reason people speak of having a weight lifted is because letting go is such freedom!

Recently I've discovered that the only way we can grow is to let go. For me, I've really struggled with learning how to become an adult. Ironically, for all of my childhood I was so much more grown up than other children...only to find that when I did grow up, I felt like a child. The only way I can grow is to let go. Let go of unnecessary things. Of unnecessary feelings. Of unnecessary attitudes and ideas. I let one thing go, I grow up a little more.

Here is a little snippet of some things I've let go of, and how I've subsequently grown as a person:

Children's clothing choices. Is it worth huge tantrums just to have my children wear what I consider matching clothing? I'm not giving in to those tantrums, I just wonder does it really matter? Am I hung up on what they wear because of them...or because of how it reflects on me? Children need some choices, and I think I've come to the conclusion that, with the exception of dirty or inappropriate (weather or otherwise) outfits, they really should get full reign, since it appears to be so incredibly important to them. If people are going to think less of me because my 7-year-old fashionista expresses herself by wearing four shirts and a mismatched skirt to the grocery store, well, I guess I'll just deal with that myself.

That one's let go of, poof! Children are ecstatic, Mom has done a bit of growing up, and all are less stressed.

Having a lot of time to myself. Although I honestly never gave it a conscious thought, I guess I just must have unknowingly expected that when I was an adult and a wife and a mom I would have just as much time to do things for myself as I always had. But, on the contrary, I have internally fought myself for eight years to have "me" time whenever I want it. I'm not totally there yet, but I'm in the beginnings of realizing that although having "me" time is necessary and wonderful and all, it has no value unless I have given of myself first. I need to focus on my responsibilities and my family's needs, and then when I have time to myself it means so much more and is so much more enjoyable!

There's another one let go, poof! More necessary things get done, more fun ensues.

Spontaneity. (Not to be confused with flexibility, of course.) Being too spontaneous, not having a plan, not having direction is just bad bad bad. For me. If I let go of my leanings toward just being...whatever...then it forces me to be focused, be alert, be structured. And structure, really, is freedom in and of itself. Planning ahead takes more effort than I usually want to exert, but if I let go of that feeling and get down to brass tacks, I am free to do more.

And another one bites the dust, poof! No more chaos resulting from TMSS-- Too Much Spontaneity Syndrome.

The desire to have nice things. I never really expected to have nice things, but I still have my wants and desires and wishes for nice things. I have had to tell myself, Listen lady, if you want to continue with the lifestyle you have chosen, then it ain't gonna happen! This is more about weighing priorities and deciding what is worth more to me. Being home with my kids, homeschooling, having my husband only work one job, and following Dave are worth more to me than any nice house, cars, clothes, or just, things.

Problem solved and let go, poof! Knowing priorities and keeping them in mind are also quite freeing.

Packratism. Letting go of this was a HUGE step for me! Clutter destroys brain cells, I'm sure of it, but I never realized that saving everything as if there were another Great Depression headed our way (um...wait...that was before 2008...) was creating giant amounts of clutter and killing off my poor brain cells one by one, not to mention making me crazy and anxious and depressed all at once. I'm a convert now to the Church of Tossmas, and it feels sooo good!

And there goes the biggest one to let go of, poof! My home is now like the inner tube of an earthworm, in and out, in and out, in and out. Ew. Sorry.

See how grown up I can be?