Feed Me, Seymore!

So the other night we ordered a Jumbo pizza from Godfather's. And I mean, this pizza is so huge that our entire family of five could only eat half the pizza for supper that night (well, we did have potato wedges to go with it). No problem, right, I figured the outside-the-home worker could take a couple pieces to work for lunch the next day and the kids and I could have the rest for lunch at home.

Next day, 12:30 p.m., it is much later than we usually eat lunch because school had gone a bit long. The children were about to destroy each other out of hunger and I'm about to pass out from not eating in five hours. It would be so very simple to just throw the pizza in the microwave, plop a bag of baby carrots on the table, and immediately satiate myself and the beasts.

Except that when I ran upstairs and opened the refrigerator...THERE WAS NO PIZZA. So I called dear husband--surely this was a mistake, he would never take all the pizza to work leaving the rest of his family to waste away in the middle of the day, right? Well, his phone went straight to voicemail and I rapidly deduced that this was indeed what had happened. So I did what any self-respecting pregnant woman would do in this situation--I sent the following text message:

JERK!!!! You took all my pizza DAMMIT!!!!! (sad face emoticon followed by mad face emoticon followed by red-faced horned emoticon followed by six more sad emoticons followed by three green-faced puking emoticons)

Then I sat down and cried. Cried, for the loss of an easy lunch preparation. Cried, because of high-pitched shrieking and wailing of the hungry clamor of the beasts. Cried, for the health and safety of my dear husband..because who knew just what kind of damage I might inflict on him when he returned home that night.

So anyway, I figured that message would convey the gist of my feelings, and I expected a response full of remorse and shame. Except shortly thereafter I received this on my phone:

Ha ha! That was hilarious! I'm totally saving this one for posterity. (grinning face emoticon)

Later I found out a bunch of coworkers also thought this was hilarious. Why do people think a pregnant, hungry, raving lunatic is so funny, I ask you?

Did I mention I'm having food issues lately?