Motherhood (and fatherhood, for that matter) is what you make it. I happen to still be the same person I was pre-kids, in essence, except that I think I'm actually a better person now (which probably has a lot to do with plain growing up, truthfully). Kids do not have to suck the life out of a person. And if they are...well, that has more to do with the parent than the child, frankly. I choose to let my kids enhance my life instead...it's totally my choice. Do I have a lot of time for pursuits which do not have their basis grounded in being a mom? Well, not really. But I'm totally okay with that. These little people will only be little people for a very short while, and in that time I am learning more about myself by giving of myself to them. Note I said giving of myself, not giving up myself!
What do I do in my limited free time? I read. I sit around with the computer. I watch documentaries with my husband. It's what I enjoyed before kids, and it's what I make a purpose of making time for now. Everything else I that enjoyed doing before, I just schlep
the kids along with me to do now. They're learning a lot this way, too. Because my life doesn't center around them; they join me in my life. I haven't lost myself. I've found a great addition to myself...motherhood!
i had no idea you had a blog- you punk! of course the joskos need a blog- two great writers in one family?? of course i should've assumed you had one! i haven't even had a chance to read it yet, but i wanted to post the first comment for today :) i'm sure it's great- i'll read it right after this... :)
ReplyDeletemegan
ok, i got to check it out and actually read.
ReplyDelete1. Jim's comment when he heard about the random, judgemental, praying-for-you old woman at church, "Wow. That's pretty horrible." The woman's lack of tack stunned my engineer husband to emotion- really, that's big.
2. I, too, don't feel like i've lost any of my self as a mother. i have journalled about this very topic so many times- i think if anything- no, for sure- i've FOUND myself through being a wife and mother. i've become a better version of myself in every way i can think of. because i think you know what i mean, i won't elaborate, but, i agree with you! people that strongly fear losing themselves are usually (sorry for the big generalization here) pretty shallow versions of who they could be, holding on to who they think they want to be for themselves, or for what others will think of them. and what REALLY makes us great is laying down our lives, agendas, etc, to pour ourselves out for others! (ok, i elaborated a little...)